Mention the word “detainee” around Kansas these days and you’re liable to draw quite a reaction. Politicians and just regular Kansas folks make it crystal clear that they don’t want the 229 detainees from Guantanamo Bay transferred to Fort Leavenworth.

But the detainees will have to be housed somewhere. So, let’s see, what shall we do with them?

Shipping them to Antarctica is probably out. Strapping them to a space shuttle and depositing them at the International Space Station is probably too expensive. Michigan wants to house them in an old prison that’s scheduled to close, but you have to wonder about the security of that choice.

Sorry, but Fort Leavenworth appears to be the likely choice. Of course, that causes Sunflower State politicians to sweat more than an adolescent standing in line for a Jonas Brothers concert. Last week, Sen. Sam Brownback and Rep. Lynn Jenkins held a press conference to assure Kansans that they will forcefully lobby against such a move.

The thing is, they may not have a say in the matter.

Leavenworth is a military and prison town. It’s located in the middle of the country. White people make up, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 83 percent of the population. Ten percent are black, 3.8 percent are Hispanic, and Asians comprise 1.3 percent. No other group is big enough to appear on the charts. So, if the feds want to stash these guys somewhere, they would stand out like a sore thumb in Northeast Kansas.

So, I say if indeed the federal government decides to transfer the detainees to Leavenworth, let’s make the best of it. Let’s look at the glass as being half full and embrace having al-Qaida operatives locked up among us.

We’ve never had such notable terrorists in a Midwest prison. It presents a unique cultural opportunity, so perhaps we should put our best sandal forward and show them some good ol’ Midwestern hospitality.

Here’s an idea. Perhaps the ladies auxiliary could host a covered dish dinner to welcome our visitors. The terrorists could sample the green Jell-O and Aunt Shirley’s potato salad. We could taste the stuffed goat and hummus. The ladies could learn to serve the food, then bow and back out of the room.

And just so everybody knows everybody else’s name, our guests could wear those stick-on badges that say, for example, “Hello, my name is Achmed.” The ladies could wear name badges that say “Infidel Harlot.”

And think of the educational opportunities this could present to our students. “Take Your Terrorist to School Day” would give kids a chance to learn how the United States has exploited Arab lands for their oil and how jihad justifies the 9/11 attacks. Industrial technology classes could devote an entire unit on bomb-making and programming remote detonators.

Think of the rubberneckers that would drive through Leavenworth just to catch a glimpse of the terrorists kneeling on their prayer rugs. We could add the al-Qaida logo to the “Welcome to Leavenworth” sign, right there between the Rotary and Lions’ clubs insignias. Why, tourists will flock from all directions.

Hey, I wonder if these guys play slow-pitch.

I’m just kidding, of course. But the point is that if we weren’t bothered by a maximum-security federal penitentiary in our region before, we shouldn’t be now.

Steve Booher’s column runs on Monday.

He can be reached at steveb@npgco.com.