November 21, 2009
What's Inside:
Navigating Facebook, one friend at a time
Of all the things Facebook has given our society, the greatest, I believe, is that it has transformed the word friend into a verb.
Before the social networking site pervaded interactions, you could only make friends or be friends. On Facebook, you put up a page with your photos, as much personal information as you feel comfortable sharing and give status updates about what you’re up to.
If you want someone to be able to look at your data, to know if you are going out to dinner tonight, have to mow the yard or are so excited it’s finally Friday!, you can send a request to be their friend on Facebook. For short, you friend them.
The awkward social sentences this generates are manifold.
One of my best friends was shocked to learn I friended her new boyfriend. I countered that she posted she was “in a relationship” after two weeks of dating, so it was fair game.
A few weeks ago, I received a message that Steve Booher had requested to friend me.
You know Steve. He’s the editor who wants to cruise on his motorcycle without his helmet. I already consider Steve my real-life friend.
He’s also my boss.
I hesitated. Had I posted any status updates that suggested I was anything less than an enthusiastic, dedicated employee who woke up every morning eager to tear into the office and give it my all?
I use Facebook mainly to keep up with my nieces and nephews and some good friends. I think of it as a chance to be myself, not necessarily a professional journalist.
But I have also learned that anything posted online can become public. I’m not exactly a recluse, either, having hung up my online shingle at www.susanmires.com.
As more and more socializing takes place over the Internet, it becomes a treacherous landscape for employees. Unless workers are discussing organizing or collective bargaining, employers pretty much have free rein to censure them for activities exposed on the Internet.
At a workshop for small business owners, one boss said he would never consider “friending” someone from work on Facebook because he keeps his professional and personal lives separate.
That concept may work in some industries, but for a generation where Facebook is the primary means of communication, that’s like refusing to give your boss your home phone number.
I thought about refusing Steve’s request, then worried he would think I had something to hide.
I also realized that I had already friended my pastor. Surely I couldn’t have too much incriminating evidence on my Facebook page.
I’m pleased to report that Steve and I are now friends.
Business editor Susan Mires writes
a weekly column. She can be reached
at susanm@npgco.com.
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Facebook is nothing but drama and stupidity at it's finest.
I do not have an account and never will, although I have witnessed some rather rediculas status updates that make we want to puke.
Update: "Breast feeding the kid."
My opinion: WHO CARES????? wow. Do you update when you use the restroom too? Are you that starved for attention?
Update: "Home alone, parents out of town" (By a 10 year old girl)
My opinion: Are you inviting a stalker/rapist/killer over for dinner? Seriously, Facebook is a psychopath's best friend.
I do not consider Facebook stupidity and drama. I have cousins/friends/classmates on there they I haven't seen in awhile and don't have the chance to talk with in person. Stupidity and drama are created by those who decide to create it. If someone gets wrapped up in all of that, then that is their fault. I love seeing new pictures of my new baby cousins' far away, or my friend's birthday party in another state. I don't add people I don't know, or people I don't like.
I love Facebook. I've found long lost childhood friends, kept up with co-workers that have since moved out, relatives that live far away... its great.
Status Update: I am enjoying the reading the comments on my column.
status update: no one cares what Molitoth thinks about this here modern technology.
Facebook is a great thing and like everyone else it gives me chance to see relatives and friends since I moved over 1000 miles from my hometown.
Molithoth is still bitter about Tom being his only friend on Myspace. Facebook has no default friends. :(
If I want to send someone a message I e-mail them. If I want to send or receive pictures I e-mail them. I don't want to be friends with all of my friends friends. To me its like having a cb radio plus a cell phone in my car. Just how well connected do you want to be?
Last I knew goobentrot, you could choose who you wanted to be friends with, so being friends with friends' friends would only be your choose. And how exactly is it like having a cb radio plus a cell phone in your car? Do you keep your laptop in the front seat, or...??? It's not like people are forced to log on to Facebook, you do it on your own time.
Facebook is a tool-- nothing more, nothing less. You can use a hammer to fix your roof (good) or to whack someone on the head (not so good). You can use it well or badly. But in and of itself, the tool is neutral.
Facebook is a great way to keep up with my grandson and kids out of state, friends who I haven't spoken with or seen in years and family and relatives near and far.
You don't have to accept friend requests if you don't want to. I have denied many that I either didn't want as a friend or didn't know.
It is all in your hands who you accept or don't accept.
I feel it is a great tool as dsbsh said!