Children can bring out the best or the worst in their parents, and Ken Thom has seen both.

To help parents show their best more often, Mr. Thom, a Christian counselor based in Maryville, Mo., has created a parent-training course. The course combines the Bryan Post stress model, which was designed to explain the root cause of problematic behavior, and principles from a book — “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control” by Heather Forbes — that teaches parents to connect with their children by forming relationships based on love rather than fear.

Mr. Thom also saw parallels between principles expressed in the book and those given in 1 Corinthians 13, so he incorporated this Bible passage into his curriculum, as well.

“With my knowledge, people can only go so far,” he says. “But put the word of God in their lives, and they can create changes that are long-lasting.”

Mr. Thom began teaching his second 10-week session of the course last month. It takes place from 6 to 8 p.m. each Tuesday at Northwest Technical School in Maryville, and he says it’s not too late for anyone interested to sign up. The cost is $20 per person or $30 per couple. For more information, go online to kenthomcounseling.com.

At the core of what he teaches is the importance of parents addressing their own issues — possibly some from how they were raised that lie dormant until their child somehow brings them out — and achieve emotional stability before dealing with their child, Mr. Thom says. This stability will enable them to connect with their child, he adds, and will make their child feel secure in the relationship.

It’s also a beginning to a relationship that “isn’t all about consequences and rules and sticker charts,” he says.

“A relationship based on fear tactics just isn’t as effective,” as one based on love, he adds. “Kids may comply for a while, but it’s not the same as in a love-based relationship.”

Those in his course now run the gamut from couples having significant problems with their children to ones with just a few minor issues, and he believes the principles he teaches work in situations at both extremes. He’s also received feedback from people who already have been through the course, including one who called it the “best, hardest work on parenting I have ever done” and another who said, “I cannot believe how much better our home environment is since I have been practicing regulatory skills! I had no idea the impact I had on my family.”

But Mr. Thom isn’t surprised how much improvement parents can see when they model biblical teaching.

“The New Testament talks about how God created us to be in relationship with him and how God reaches out in love,” he says. “Parents need to do the same with their children.”

Lifestyles reporter Erin Wisdom can be reached at ewisdom@npgco.com.